G.I. Joe: Retaliation Movie Review

Stephonika's Movie Review: "G.I. JOE: RETALIATION" - (PRE-SCREENING)
Rated: PG-13, for action and fantasy violence throughout



Look, it's Transformers without robots!

From the first Joe film that barely made any return on its budget, the new installment will undoubtedly suffer the same misfortune when it opens this weekend.  Though it is a movie with great special and visual effects, it is only that.  The visual gimmickry isn't enough to save this story, which is a combination of at least four to five stories all raveled into one disorganized mass of explosive adrenaline.

Watching this film with barely any memory of the first installment, it fails to deliver a cohesive package of who's-who.  We are introduced to the major players by a cliche militaristic, digital render that cycles through each person, with code name and allegiance.  This would have been acceptable had this seemingly audience driven sequence had turned into a film device which fades into an actual briefing for the heroes or villains by a commanding officer, but no.

Sequels, yes, follow the story of a predecessor, but should always have the ability to stand alone (perfect example being Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy).  Also, for a film that was supposedly removed from its 2012 release slate to add additional scenes with Channing Tatum and for the conversion process of 3D, little seemed to be added to the film.  Tatum, who's character was already known to be up for a death sentence, still dies within the first act of the film (which is not a surprise as major action sequences and succeeding story points would have been impossible to re-shoot had the character survived).  Never take a film out of post-production (weeks/months before release) in order to re-shoot and add to your film; it's an automatic death sentence.

As for the story, it was so character-driven that there were too many characters to be able to allot enough time to each character's arc.  Once you get used to following Roadblock or Jane or Stormshadow, scene changes and you learn nothing new.  Each character seemed to have one interesting bit to relay from their past, but none of these really had much to do with the main story we are supposed to be watching unfold.  To that end, the main story suffered for the constant switch of scenery in that it isn't until a good sixty to ninety minutes in that you actually learn what the villains are planning, and forty minutes in, you're ready for the credits to scroll.  And speaking of which, has no one learned from the debacle of Spider-Man 3?  You just don't keep adding big villains to your story.  You lose valuable screen time and you confuse the audience in trying to understand who is the main threat.

The same goes for your heroes, who aside from the main three, we are given a few extra good guys halfway through the movie just for the hell of it and perhaps because this film needed that extra female presence with a randomly inserted training sequence reminiscent of the Matrix.  We also stop dead to talk about Stormshadow's past and how he was framed, and yet again adding in more characters to follow and a back story segment that could have come earlier in the film.

It has to be said, though, that this film has some pretty great action sequences, just as you might expect.  Explosions around every corner, great gun-on-sword, sword-on-human, rope-slinging shenanigans, and some really cool mechanical fireflies that explode and give new meaning to In-Your-Face!  It also had the most unique way of negotiating (and fulfilling!) the end to international nuclear weapons.

If you're planning a trip to the cinema this weekend, give this one the skip and wait for the redbox edition, if only to enjoy explosions, a bit with Tatum and Dwayne Johnson playing Xbox, and an underused Bruce Willis.